Thursday, April 14, 2011

My battle

So, I'm really battling tonight. Battling with insecurities and fear. I think of my story and I fear it's not original. I think of my writing and fear it's not up to par. I get on amazon and read about books similar to mine and theirs seem like far better stories. I feel inadequate and uneducated. I felt I'd possibly found my calling and once again I doubt myself. It's almost as if I need to learn a different language. Actually learning french or Spanish would probably be easier. I can see everything play out in my head from the tiniest detail to the smell of the air but I'm having problems transferring it in to words on paper. I know you have to start somewhere and I know no one begins perfect but I feel like a first grader trying to compete at Harvard. Sometimes it takes me forever just to write one sentence just up to my standards. Imagine how high everyone else's will be. The flow of the sentence has to be just right or I sometimes have trouble going on. I just need a short break. I need to read something inspiring.

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